Thursday, March 4, 2010

Mistake Averted...

Okay, first of all it is completely pathetic that I have blogged nothing this entire year, the one video clip not counting. Really.....? I've been a "Blocker" which is a fusion between "Blogger" and "Slacker" -- mostly slacker.

Today I heard the story of a grown child's difficult decision which ended a multiple year relationship lacking long term potential. I know this kid... and for positive it probably hurt him terribly. His sting significant at causing the parting injury.

I thought of a situation from my own life... dusting off a pair of old photos, I sat to recount the memory and send it his direction. Interesting what emotions surfaced. Many years had past since that old flame crossed my mind. Flooding back came the certainty of a choice well made. Two pictures two stories.

Here’s my 5 year crush that began in 1980 before my mission. Hal got down on one knee and proposed which completely swept me off my feet. He had all the right ingredients -- RM, great family, raised in the church...

The relationship was long distance for a lot of the time which made it hard to really get to know him. I decided to go on a mission in the meantime. After my mission we were 5 years older and he was finally ready to make it official. I traveled to San Diego 2 weeks after I got home and within 2 days I knew the honeymoon was over.

He just wasn’t spiritually as committed as he once was. I hated that I had invested so much time only to have it over. I was on a different spiritual level at that point and I knew it just would not work long term.

Just writing this brings back some tough memories I forgot about mostly because choosing him would have been a GIANT mistake. Although the “wait” message I got felt really open ended -- I just had to trust.

Here’s the guy who annoyed me in Seminary beginning in 1979. I ran into him in the MTC and wrote him a half dozen letters in the mission just to be nice.

Mostly because of your mom I remained in SD after things didn’t work out with Hal. I felt like I should stay with no real reason I could pin point at the time.

Four months after my 5 year crush ended Tim traveled to San Diego for a post mission surf trip. Having a seminary teacher in common who also happened to be in town that week - a small class reunion was organized where I saw this former classmate with new eyes.

He was bright and funny with a spiritual foundation I was drawn to - plus he had grown two inches on his mission making us now the exact same height and which significantly increased his eligibility to date me.

Everything about him felt right even though I could not explain why. Had I not been in the right place at the right time I would have missed him. I converted to a full fledged believer in “proper timing”. Needless to say the last 24 years have been so worth the angst of prior lost love.

I am certain my beautiful children fully needed his cute genes -- who knows what they’d have looked like with the other guy.

On a very interesting side note -- looking at these pictures really brings home the huge difference between Hal and Tim. Looking back, Hal was not real warm and fuzzy. After professing his love the first time he expected me to remember it until he told me different. He wasn’t much for repetitive mush. Tim, on the other hand is the exact opposite making my life with him exceedingly more enjoyable.

I sent the email to my sweet Tim as well and his response was... "Lucky for me. Thanks Hal for swinging and missing"


a girl in a gorilla suit said...

Awesome Post!!! it made me smile!

emmakt said...

This was so funny. I never knew this Hal-guy. Funny how we all get taught that "trust" lesson.

emmakt said...

Notice the surf pictures on the wall ... this photo must have been taken ... at Tim's place?