Saturday, November 15, 2008

Compliment Compliment Gripe Compliment

In recent church lesson on treating our spouses and children with love and kindness a member of the class referred here as just KM shared a tip about approaching our husbands with a less than pleasant although deemed necessary to confront subject. She called it something a little different than I have titled this post -- (I can't remember exactly how she worded it) anyway the gist is the same. Start with two compliments then say the gripe followed extremely close with another compliment. FANTASTIC... I thought. I must try that one at my next opportunity.

One night not too many days later I noticed my bedside garbage filled with socks. Tim's laundry folding routine often includes spreading dryer fresh clothes on the bed -- folding & piling while watching UFC or the Military Channel. Socks in our house normally do not get matched and are placed in a dresser drawer in the garage -- one labeled whites and the next one down, colored. (I despise matching socks unless absolutely necessary, mostly because there are millions of them. )

It appeared Tim had matched at least a half million socks and then may have suffered fatigue enough to dispose of the rest. I noticed many of MY socks in the garbage. Here's something you may not know about me -- I LOVE new socks and if money and wastefulness were no object, I would cut the tags off a new pair every day. So... even though I don't get a new pair daily, my socks never get that old.

My new looking socks in the garbage, thoughts of a lazy sock matcher running through my head, and my husband sleeping deeply and peacefully just a few feet away. Waking him crossed my mind -- No... let's try the NEW approach. Fabulous opportunity for a test drive.

I penned a note and taped it to the shower door being quiet not to wake him. " Thank you so much for folding the laundry today." (C#1) "I've been busy working on the Christmas presents and that REALLY helps me." (C#2) "You inadvertently threw away some of my good socks -- ones I have matches for and I had to dig them out of the trash. I hate to see good useful items get tossed when they still have life in them." (G, albeit a long G) "Just thought I'd let you know -- Thanks again!" ILY -- Me (C#3)

You should have witnessed the reaction -- it was perfect. (I must say that "inadvertently" was the best word in the note.) My point stated... and heard and no hair pulled in the process. Thanks KM for the great advice.

1 comment:

Life as a Greenstreet said...

I'll have to try that next time...because of course my first reaction would have been "hey, genius, why the heck did you throw my socks out??" I guess that's not the ways to communicate are always good.